Look into my soul! What do you see?

Look into my soul! What do you see?

Do you see the shipwrecks? The shipwrecks of my lost battles drifting into oblivion. Or do you savor the calmness of my inner seas? Don’t be fooled by it. Stand aside and wait with absurd patience and just before you’ll get close to breaking sanity you’ll spot the ghost ships. Can you hear them? Yes, those sounds of desperation which resemble the screams for help of drowning mariners. That’s what you should be looking for. For on the bottom of those wretched seas lie buried deep into the sand the doomed bodies of those “sailors”, these are my most beautifully rotten memories. They act both as my treasure aiding me in relishing those moments and as my anchor, keeping me in place, never letting me escape…

Take a glimpse of my past and you might see my future. Why? Because I draw so many dots and edges in  trying to build it that I forget that I’m not the one turning the hourglass and most important I forget that I’m not the one who’s turning the wheel. I’m just an observer… one who forgets to observe.

It’s that darkness, that which follows me with each step I take, impregnating itself into the ground. And with each pounding of my heart it’s sealing my soul’s tomb with another brick of a lost love… that I never had. Brick by brick. It’s a grand mausoleum built out of illusions, suffering  and bitter tears promising to last the test of time… my test.


~ by mihailanga on April 29, 2011.

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